Parody of: Canonical

Deliver, maintain, secure and ^(charge small fees to)sustain

open source for everyone - with internet access

Join the open source blob,
Let us incorporate your applications!

We Own. We Pown. And soon we’ll be on your phone.

Ubuntu

“It’s a giant bank that is essentially integrating software to make a better bank.”
- M. Shuttleworth

Security

”The best security is free security.”
- Facebook

LandScape

We’ll help you manage your packages. You can trust us to give you the full North Korea treatment – Inspecting every one of your packages long before you get them.

MAAS

Let us build your servers for you! After experiencing our quality builds, you’ll soon be asking for MAAS.

LXD

Manage your LXCs with our LXD with an API from your home PC

Juju

Model-driven cloud-native apps!
And speaking of natives, we’re pretty sure saying the word “Juju” is still PC...

openstack

Stacks on stacks

kubernetes

"Kubernetes is a force forever. It will be pervasive. It will be in every institution."
Long Live Kubernetes!

snapcraft

Ah, snap! Something went wrong with our resource allocation!

Ubuntu images are amazing on every major cloud – AWS, Azure, Google, Softlayer, etc.
Just not on OVH. Those guys are jerks.

$ cloud-init analyze dump
$ cloud-init collect-logs

Only serving the Internet of Things - since 2017!

When the AI apocalypse is finally upon us, our Kubeflow infrastructure will make sure they can dominate us on any scale, on any cloud.
And that’s a promise.

For those who still can’t get enough Aubergine in your code environments.

When it comes to data, Multipass is the ultimate YAML dump.

“With great partners comes great responsibility”
- Uncle Ben

MEET SOME OF OUR PARTNERS

Developed locally. Nitpicked by freeloaders globally.
Join Canonical and stop complaining.

Laziness Uninhibited

In a post-COVID era, we believe that exceptional, self-motivated, organized and passionate people deserve the freedom to sit on their bum at home and put out 60% of the productivity they would have achieved in the office.

"

I’ve seen all the seasons of Game of Thrones between zoom meetings - an unexpected benefit of life at Canonical.”

Big Fish in a Small Pond

We are not only the best in fish in the Linux pond, but we also love talking about it! We run more hosts, more workloads and more devices than anybody else! And we’ve done it without selling out – or “making money” as the more proprietary companies call it.

"

When it comes to open source, we are straight up dominating the other fish in our little pond. It’s tough, but satisfying.”

Enterprise focused

The world is moving to Ubuntu – and even though we don’t need their validation,
we WILL be bragging every time Amazon or Google does a collaboration.

"

I wasn't able to make it past the third Google interview, but it's such a rush getting to collaborate with them on Ubuntu Pro. For a moment, I felt like a real Googler!"